How do I cope with it all of this it is very disconcerting? I understand your frustration with the issues at hand; the only difference is I am a woman in your position. I am the mother of a 12 year-old daughter and 3 year old son whose fathers have joined forces so to speak to alienate our children from me. I want to start by saying I am not a degenerate, I do not use drugs or abuse alcohol and up until 8/2000 worked in Mortgage Banking. I am engaged to be married and am expecting our fist child. I am excited about the stability and simplicity of life marriage offers.
My only vices in the past have been a few bad choices in partners and my trusting nature. A year 1/2 ago my daughter wanted try living with Dad, which I encouraged. However, since then she has become completely alienated from me. She does not want to see me in addition, dad and stepmom do not encourage her whatsoever to keep a relationship with me. My daughter says things like “you’re nothing but a piece of *!#%, you don’t deserve your children, you’d better enjoy them while you have them, you won’t have them for long.” things a 12 year-old shouldn’t say. While I understand some of this is pre-teen stuff, I believe she may be getting her information from other sources. As I said before I am engaged, I will be moving 350 miles away so that my fiancee may maintain his job that will offer me the luxury of being a stay at home Mom. Something I was not able to provide my daughter with. I do not want to lessen the time we share with our son at all.
I want to keep the 50/50 split. Our son will have a loving and productive environment with a sibling and stay at home Mom. Now my son’s father is fighting me in court with his live-in girlfriend who is a family law attorney for him and the father of my daughter. They bombard me with 2-3 inch thick court filings, filled with condescending accusations, outright lies. Coupled with the constant cohersion with my daughter’s father and stepmom that makes parenting impossible.
Any conversation I have with her dad or stepmom is put into a declaration and manipulated to make me look as though I am trying to hide something and vice versa. All of this is very discouraging and as I said before makes parenting extremely difficult. Does anyone have any suggestions to cope with this and somehow save the relationships with my children?